The Fluidity of Grace

Grace

I've always had a bit of a struggle with the actual definition of grace. I used to think of forgiveness and grace as the same. The most recent definition I came across for grace was: the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings.

So grace is really more than just the forgiveness of our sins but the continual favor. That favor manifests into salvation  and abundant blessings the Father lavishes us on despite our sin. And grace for me is a continual process. I have to live in it daily. Each day comes with reminders of how unworthy of it all I am...

I am continually dancing between lifting others up and letting them down. Sometimes the harder I try the more inadequate I feel. The friend who needs me the most, is met with silence. The lessons I should focus on with my children get overlooked for the convenience of moving life along at a faster pace. The words I think for good often do not get said. While the words that should remain under lock and key fly freely from my lips.

I accept the grace of the Father, but I am so slow to offer that same grace. I can completely understand when Paul declares, "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me frome this body subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans7:24-25

The beauty of the love of the Father is that His grace is not conditional on my behavior. I still have trouble understanding. His favor and blessings over me are not conditional on my right or wrong decisions. I am covered by the blood of His son that continually washes over me!

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

So I'm still learning how to love and offer grace to all those the Father places in my path! And, I pray that those who must deal with my often slow learning will be able to do the same!

Kaleidoscope

Kaleidoscope

I hadn't thought of that word since I was a child. Children today would be completely bored out of their minds with a toy that kept me entertained when I was little for longer than I probably should admit. I loved seeing the twirling colors move in and out like synchronized swimmers at my fingertips. I'm sure my son would look at me like I was crazy if I suggested this over playing a game on my phone!

Recently, God showed me how my life is like a kaleidoscope; ever fluid, ever changing. All with just a twist here and there. We often move one direction then the next. For the longest time I have been so concerned about finding my one singular purpose! I would get anxious when I would feel drawn to a particular ministry, career, hobby, etc. I knew I heard God clearly so I would try to figure out how I would give up what I had in order to follow a new singular passion.

For example, before my first son was born I was just so distraught that my calling was now a mother and I did not need to work. I needed to follow my divine purpose. But God has met me with so much grace. Grace that my life can be fragmented, departmentalized, and yet so fluid and beautiful. So much grace for my heart to understand that He is the author of our Freedom not our own mental strongholds that keep us captive. He allows me to do everything with passion!

I was held back from dancing in the fluid motion of my life by thinking I had to live in a neat and tidy box. I had to define myself as a "wife", "mother", "pharmaceutical sales rep", "author", "minister"! But I am not any single one of those titles. I am all of them, dancing in beautiful fluidity of amazing color! I am a child of my Father! And everything He has given me to do and become is for His glory and for the JOY of both!

Let's not get so focused on where we are going that we miss the beautiful show that is our life!

"Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God."
1 Corinthians 10:31 NKJV

"You Should Start a Blog"

A friend of mine suggested I start a blog since I'm a "Writer & have so much to teach!" I chuckle because I think she might have really meant, "Writing a blog might be a good outlet for you instead of feeling the need to spill everything you are learning in life with everyone you meet!" I think my husband would easily agree!

I have never really imagined myself as a writer. I'm more of a talker, I picked up that genetic trait from my father, I'm certain. But I do love to communicate. I did however, publish my first book almost a year ago now. I still have trouble saying I'm an author. I really thought of it as a calling to get a message out instead of a life long endeavor.

Well, I thoughtfully told my friend, I would pray about the blog thing! So last night as I'm in the midst of my prayers I start asking for what I should call my blog. The answer came as a soft whisper. One single word "Beloved." I had to ask for clarification because I was sure that was not how I wanted to "Brand" myself. It sounded a bit snobbish to say the least. However, I was quickly met with, "It's not all about you my dear, it's what I give you for them. The love that this world is so desperately searching for is bursting inside of you for them."

So it is with that calling I start this journey. I promise to share with you the love the Father lavishes out so we can all experience it together. I hope you will find this a place of comfort and hope. I hope you will laugh and cry with me as we journey through our days on earth.  Because you are dearly loved!